enculez vous

to see you when i wake up

2007-08-16T13:26:00.000-07:00

My heart is still and this indescribable emotion sweeps up in waves and threatens to spill over as tears. I wish it would stop; this overwhelming sensation that comes every so often nowadays is going to be more than I can take. I have been an emotional wreck as of late, crying incessantly over no reason in particular. Hormones overdrive perhaps. I just hope things look up soon, though this is an unlikely notion with the pretext of school darkly looming over me and drawing closer as each minute passes. First day of school blues. I do hate such awkward events where our insecurities resurface and traps our mind with fear of rejection and unpopularity, which is superficial but inevitable. How hard it is to be comfortable with solitude amidst a crowd of competitive people. I myself simply would like to find a small but comfortable group of friends and settle down happily; these simply joys are underrated and worth much more than it seems nowadays.

bits and pieces

2007-08-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

from bitsandpieces1.blogspot.com:

these are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country, amazingly funny:

1) My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

2) Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

3) Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33.

4) Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

5) Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6) John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7) Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8) Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9) Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10) Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11) Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahre dyrea direathe the runs.

12) Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

13) Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14) Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father s fault.

15) I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don t know what size she wears.

16) Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

17) Sally won t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18) My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

19) Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20) Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21) Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

22) Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.

i hope thats where youll find me

2007-07-23T10:37:00.000-07:00

you still take my breath away

so beautiful

2007-05-28T12:11:00.000-07:00

I heard that you were home again, but you don't look like your back to me
With your focuses changing your gaze is transfixed on a point that I can't often see
You've got your new ties, I've got my old knots, you've got your inside lines
But your never happy with what you've got

Careful now,
You're so beautiful
When you've convinced yourself
That no one else is quite as beautiful

I heard that you were living well, but you don't look like your living to me
Though the sparkle is gone, the smile is in place so that everyone watching can see
You've got them all convinced, but I know it so well
That you could list your friends, but you can't count on them

Hold it now
You've got everyone convinced that your alright
When no one else is quite as vulnerable

i miss you

2007-05-17T14:18:00.001-07:00

To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days, but already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again,
whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care
and I miss you.

put me on a plane and fly me to anywhere

2007-05-10T08:58:00.000-07:00

to all those that have been anxiously waiting with bated breath for my decision (which im sure every single one of you has, hur), ive decided to stay in singapore. not exactly ecstatic about the choice, but i shall make do and make the best out of it. the plus side is that i get a new car and a new house; ive already planned how to decorate my room. haha.

the last thing i want now is relationship problems.

put me on a plane and fly me to anywhere

uni

2007-04-30T11:47:00.000-07:00

Uni of Melbourne, SMU, or NUS?

goodnight and go

2007-04-24T12:27:00.001-07:00

Why'd you have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you.
Must you make me laugh so much?
It's bad enough we get along so well.
Say goodnight and go.

One of these days, you'll miss your train and come stay with me.
We'll have drinks, and talk about things, any excuse to stay awake with you.
You'll sleep here, I'll sleep there,
But then the heating may be down again,
At my convenience.
We'd be good, we'd be great together.

Say goodnight and go,
Why's it always, always
goodnight and go?
Darling, not again,
Goodnight and go.

cjc

2007-04-22T02:49:00.000-07:00

i was just looking through my old pictures and i realize i do miss cj. more than i thought i would actually. i miss the classroom antics: guys and their dota talk, me jan hy kai stella doing whatever we were doing, car drawings, jacking miss soong and mr lee, laughing at certain ppl and certain things. i miss the netball team: trainings, miss puva, the excitement of the JJ match, holding a damn ball and throwing it. i miss the people that i see around school and wave and chat to. i miss fitting in, knowing where i was supposed to go and what to do everday. i miss the security of school life. where did all these go!

So pick me. Choose me. Love me

2007-04-17T10:46:00.000-07:00

"Okay, here it is. Your choice, it's simple. Her or me. And I'm sure she's really great. But, I love you. In a really, really big, pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me."

possession

2007-04-16T06:23:00.000-07:00

"What is it? My dear?"
"Ah, how can we bear it?"
"Bear what?"
"This. For so short a time. How can we sleep this time away?"
"We can be quiet together, and pretend - since it is only the beginning - that we have all the time in the world."
"And everyday we shall have less. And then none."
"Would you rather, therefore, have had nothing at all?"
""No. This is where I have always been coming to. Since my time began. And when I go away from here, this will be the mid-point, to which everything ran, before, and from which everything will run. But now, my love, we are here, we are now, and those other times are running elsewhere."

- Antonia S. Byatt, Possession

loving it

2007-04-11T06:36:00.000-07:00

i love buckcherry. its so old school and perfect for crooning along very loudly in the privacy of your own bedroom (which is what im doing now).

I'm sorry i'm bad, i'm sorry i'm blue
I'm sorry about all the things i said to you
And i know i can't take it back
I love how you kiss, i love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And i just wanted to say i'm sorry.

next week spells excitement and change. driving test on monday (AHHH), SMU interview on tuesday, and hopefully start of new job that evening as well. ill be sad to leave cafe del mar though. ill miss the fantastic view i get everyday and most of all, my tan! but its time to move on.

love after love

2007-04-09T06:45:00.000-07:00

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

- Love After Love (Derek Walcott)

i feel like playing netball suddenly. anyone?

colorgenics

2007-04-08T07:10:00.000-07:00

'You feel that everything is going against you and you are worn out and exhausted by all the conflict and quarrelling. You are trying to protect yourself but at the same time you are hiding your feelings, hoping that by so doing, you can avoid exposing yourself to attack. Hopefully this will give you the chance to get on with your life. Nevertheless, you should be very careful to try to avoid stirring up any opposition which might endanger your plans:

In actual fact you are not willing to exert yourself in any way. You have that truly 'laid back' attitude and are unwilling to extend yourself or exert undue effort. You feel that to move forward - be it in your life style or in business relationships - would require more energy output than you are prepared to give at this time. You want to take life easy and your attitude is such that 'Enough is Enough'.

Being emotionally inhibited you have no alternative at this time but to be a 'watcher' rather than a 'doer'. At this time you feel as if you are being forced to compromise and stand back. But this is not the true you. Deep down there is that warm 'open' you which is awaiting the moment to burst forth - maybe like the chrysalis which will soon become the butterfly.

For some time now your hopes and expectations have been denied and because of this you are becoming withdrawn and introverted. Continual disappointment has manifested itself in you becoming both suspicious and restrained you have become withdrawn from others and have receded more and more into yourself. You seem to have lost your innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that you may be carried away by it only to find that you are wasting your time. You are loath to trust people, as in the past your trust has been misplaced. You seem to be keeping yourself cautiously aloof from others. At this moment in time your attitude is to trust nobody - until they can prove themselves to you.

You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes.'

more colorgenics lol.

goodbye, my love.

2007-04-07T21:16:00.000-07:00

she looks up and, with a start, realizes she is looking right at him. heat rises up her body and flushes her cheeks as their eyes lock. the noise of the room gently falls away and in this moment, he belongs to her again. her eyes spill out pools of emotions that only he can convey, but as he silently turns away she feels a deep twisting in her stomach. she realises now. she stares at his retreating back, drained of hope and worn out by the intensity of the moment.

goodbye, my love.

the pieces dont fit anymore

2007-04-04T00:27:00.000-07:00

Well I can't explain why it's not enough, Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now, oh just leave me now.
Its the better thing to do,
Its time to surrender,
Its been to long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces dont fit anymore

you could be my unintended

2007-04-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

at this point i really dont get it. why must people feel the need to own the people they claim to love wholeheartedly? i mean, if you set the person free and the person chooses to love you back despite the temptaions all around, wouldnt that be a greater love than anything you forcefully try to twist into your ideal relationship?

but of course, im as guilty as the next person, though perhaps to a lesser extent. we all have a streak of possessiveness in us. i guess its human nature.

right now i really thank God for everything that He's done despite everything that im facing right now. my mom just came home with good news regarding her business trip. i might be going to university of melbourne after all. suddenly the future seems much brighter and open to possibilities, i finally feel like i have a choice. but i feel apprehensive at the same time. now that the chance has unexpectedly come after months of tears and pleading, im actually terrified of the drastic change ahead. to start anew someplace else by yourself. but i know that if i turn this down i would want to bang my head daily against the wall for the regret of the risk not taken. so ohwell, its still too soon to confirm anything, time will tell (:

you could be my unintended

personality profile

2007-03-27T00:07:00.000-07:00

'You appear to others around you as a person who is simply 'laid back'. From time to time you shelve your ambitions and forgo the desire for prestige and recognition and you are often considered as mentally lazy. You have the ability and you are the first to know this, but you prefer to take things easy and indulge your longing for comfort and security.

You are trying to improve your position and prestige - be it in your life or in your workplace. Things are, at this time, OK - but they could be better. You feel that it is essential that you break down any opposition that could possibly lurk in the shadows. You know that you are quite capable of achieving this set goal because you have to and because it is essential to your self esteem.

Many people will consider you egotistical and full of your own self importance. On the surface you could well give this impression and perhaps the reason for this complacent attitude is because at times you indeed have that 'short fuse' and are quick to take offence.

You are feeling really bogged down and extremely stressed. This is perhaps due to the desire for personal independence which has been evading you for some time now. An existing situation or relationship is causing you to be extremely restless and you feel that you are unable to change the situation without co-operation. You are unwilling to expose your vulnerability and therefore you consider it inadvisable to display affection or be over demonstrative. You regard this relationship as a depressing tie, but although you want to be independent and unhampered, you do not want to risk losing anything. All this leads you to react touchily and with impatience, while the urge to get away results in considerable restlessness: your ability to concentrate may suffer.

Anxiety and a restless antagonism, as a result of unfulfilled emotional needs, has resulted in considerable stress. You are trying to overcome this by working and playing extremely hard - but at all times you have your future in mind. You are a worker and as a result of your inherent enthusiasm you cannot fail.'

wow. do yours here.

dreamgirls

2007-02-24T06:01:00.000-08:00

watching dream girls felt like... eating a huge plate of extremely creamy pasta and feeling very jelat after the first few bites. the movie was too fast paced and messy for me, and wayyy too much singing. not that their voices werent good or anything, but after awhile i just wanted to cover my ears.

results on friday? OMG

with tired knees and tired feet

2007-02-10T19:57:00.000-08:00

work feels like......

playing an extreme version of diner dash. and on weekends it feels like im playing two diner dashes at one time, one with each hand both furiously clicking away and my mind spinning. haha.

come visit me sometime though. cafe del mar.

with tired eyes, tired minds, tired souls, we slept

2007-02-05T22:29:00.000-08:00

Does this darkness have a name? This cruelty, this hatred, how did it find us? Did it steal into our lives, or did we seek it out and embrace it? What happened to us? That we now send our children into the world like we send young men to war, Hoping for their safe return, But knowing that some will be lost along the way. When did we lose our way? Consumed by the shadows, swallowed whole by the darkness. Does this darkness have a name? Is it your name?

my loving is the way to go

2007-02-04T05:59:00.000-08:00

hello hello. it sucks to be sick. and i as i picked through my yet again meal of maggi for dinner today i was reminded of how tabi and stella surprised me with crystal jade dinner another time when i was down with fever. my schweeet girlfriends. stella pls come back soon!! we need to hang out! and tab, i hope the camp would be fun and not too tiring haha. love you both.

guess what i found while looking through my pictures! HAHA

jan! miss you girl (:

happy six months.

2007-01-23T07:41:00.000-08:00

i predict an even moodier day tomorrow. as if today wasnt bad enough.
~~happy six months~~

the mixed tape

2007-01-22T06:47:00.000-08:00

i hate how drastically my emotions fluctuate all the time, so much so that i dont even trust my own opinions on certain things. i could be extremely hyped up and ecstatic about an issue at a point in time, but a few hours later my mood would just crash down. negative emotions come flooding in instead and i wonder what the heck i was all excited about in the first place, and how could i be so naive to initially believe that things were that good. this does not refer to any particular situation, but literally everything that i come across. and it sucks. i want to be more stable emotionally, to be firm about my feelings and not have it change from time to time. i want someone to tell me how everything will end up, so i know what to feel and thus my emotions do not have to be processed through my overactive and troublesome imagination.

on to a more depressing note. it sucks being broke! and fat! RAHHHH.

i like this picture cuz i secretly think i look slimmer than usual in it. hurr. tabi/debbie and me! (: love you girl.

Where are you now?
As I'm swimming through this stereo
I'm writing you a symphony of sound
Where are you now?
As we rearrange these songs again
This mix could burn a hole in anyone
It was you I was thinking of
It was you I was thinking of

2007-01-04T20:19:00.000-08:00

here it is. my temporary source of pride and joy. haha. but highly doubt ill be going anyway due to family pressures and also probably my inability to get a minimum of BBB for A levels. so ill just relish in this moment where im suddenly closer to opening up my world to possibilites and hopes again. but alas, so to quote every single depressing literature genius and thrashy romance novel, nothing good lasts forever. hur.

dont cry

2006-12-25T08:11:00.000-08:00

Talk to me softly, there's something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow and please don't cry
I know how you feel inside I've been here before
Somethin's changin' inside you and don't you know
Don't you cry tonight, I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight, there's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight
Give me a whisper, and give me a sigh
Give me a kiss before you tell me goodbye
Don't you take it so hard now, and please don't take it so bad
I'll still be thinking of you, and the times we had baby
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight, there's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight
And please remember that I never lied
And please remember how I felt inside now honey
You gotta make it your own way
But you'll be alright now sugar
You'll feel better tomorrow
Come the morning light now baby

haha

2006-12-08T19:47:00.000-08:00

post-exam catching up with friends has been great this week. catching up with matthew junlong on monday, clubbing with marc jon jan kev on tues, one tree hill marathon on wed, thurs with grace (!) and fri with mae shu poo and reagan.

also, the boyfriend finally commissions today! am proud of him (: finally we'll have more time for each other (after i return from japan)

speaking of japan, ill be gone from 13th to 20th. anybody wants anything? especially sam, tell me asap yea. hahaha

and this is my failed attempt at an interesting entry. goodbye all.

TEACHER

2006-11-23T20:11:00.000-08:00

GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa; half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America; well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India; very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France; gently aging but still warm, and a desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain; with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia; lost the war and haunted by past mistakes.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia; very wide, and borders are now un-patrolled.

After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.... only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran - ruled by a dick

baudelaire

2006-11-23T02:05:00.000-08:00

One must be for ever drunken: that is the sole question of importance. If you would not feel the horrible burden of Time that bruises your shoulders and bends you to the earth, you must be drunken without cease.

But how? With wine, with poetry, with virtue, with what you please. But be drunken.

And if sometimes, on the steps of a palace, on the green grass by a moat, or in the dull loneliness of your chamber, you should waken up, your intoxication already lessened or gone, ask of the wind, of the wave, of the star, of the bird, of the timepiece; ask of all that flees, all that sighs, all that revolves, all that sings, all that speaks, ask of these the hour; and wind and wave and star and bird and timepiece will answer you: "It is the hour to be drunken! Lest you be the martyred slaves of Time, intoxicate yourselves, be drunken without cease! With wine, with poetry, with virtue, or with what you will."

-Charles Baudelaire

cut up angels

2006-11-21T19:57:00.000-08:00

deviantart

i think this is how we all feel sometimes. pent, choked up emotions, with tears stinging and threatening to overflow as you squeeze your eyes shut to try to hold them back. the overwhelming loneliness that consumes you and forces you down to the bottom of this dark hollow pit where you dont think you can ever get out. the desperate, noiseless screaming inside of you, clawing at this emptiness which you cannot quite reach, yet cannot quite escape from.

thats not how i feel right now, but i like this picture anyway. right now i feel weary and washed out by failure, as i have time and time again. though the cause of it all is of course, myself. but as each tide violently sweeps over me and threatens to push me down, my strength and determination to stand firm seems to get eroded away slowly as well, bit by bit, piece by piece, and im afraid that one day ill just fall and follow the tide, and get swept away as well.

cut up angels

p.s. i have a tagboard ppl, so tag. or a haloscan. or whatever its called.

one tree hill

2006-11-21T06:08:00.000-08:00

overdose of sweetness today. watched one tree hill and the channel 8 9pm show just now, where in one tree hill nathan drove all the way to find haley and kept reminiscing about the memories they had. and the channel 8 show where the guy was dead certain that the girl was the woman for him for life. both were like oh-my-god-oh-so-sweet heart melting. i love. and i can just imagine some ppl shaking their head at what a hopeless romantic i am right now. haha okay. random inconherent post. time for beddd.

three more days to freedom!

p.s. i heart one tree hill to the max (:

live twice

2006-11-20T08:29:00.000-08:00

Don't leave now, not yet
There were time, we regret
And I'm sorry
Somehow,
I only wanted to make you proud

If I could only let you know
I'd give up everything I own
For just one more day with you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
I could not let it pass me by
If I make every sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
If only we could live twice

When you told me, I froze
It still echoes in my soul
Please forgive me, if I didn't say
I love you
Every single day

i still remember this song. even after removing the strings that come attached with it i still must say that it still strikes a chord in my heart because its a great song. i think we all take too many things for granted and dont bother to count our blessings often enough. and only when things slip us by do we realize the importance of them and how circumstances would not have happened if we treasured them more. and so, even though im not a very emotional person in public (cold hearted even), im taking the opportunity now to say thank you to all the people that have made an impact in my life, and you would know who you are the day that i die and reagan opens my blog. haha. just a few for now. to these friends, i cant tell you how much i love you and how grateful i am everyday to have found people like you. especially to grace toren siewchi wonus yuzheng jacob tabi stel jan, shane sam jon, you guys have been here for me through everything these two long years and i owe you forever. thank you for accepting me for who i am and being there for me the times i needed someone to confide and a shoulder to cry on. i cant express how much i mean those words. please know ill be there for you whenever you need anything, and im filled with deep gratitude with the certainty that you guys would be here for me too.

and to reagan, even though im hesitant in saying emotional stuff first and i spend most of my time jacking you, im putting my heart in the open now by saying that i love you. im sorry for being paranoid in feeling that we seem to be fading from time to time, mainly because i really am afraid we would one day. thank you for being my source of comfort and strength, and for trying to pull me out of the endless pit of misery i seem to be in. please dont give up on us, im trying too.

okay enough for now before this blog melts with corniness and runny emotions. on a lighter note, heres a picture of dimitry from so you think you can dance. i love the whole unbuttoned tshirt thing. and the hot bod of course.

nights world!

walk beside me and just be my friend

2006-11-19T17:47:00.000-08:00

hello you. five more days to end of exams! i seriously cant wait, arghhh. but despite my never ending complaints to the poor people who have to tolerate me, i actually dont mind having this extra week when everyone has ended already, because i know how badly i need it. i still havent properly finished any of my paper 5 books, esp LDJ which im barely halfway through. and for paper 3 i have two days to finish BNW and heart of darkness (OMFG). so yes, everything is pretty screwed and i keep having premonitions that im going to get BDD or BDE or something.

i dont know what im going to do if i do badly, but i know that i really do NOT want to retake my A levels. no way im going to go through one more year of this shit. if things really work out bad ill just have to bear with the humiliation and self disappointment, and take off to somewhere halfway decent overseas. and i honestly do not believe that im going to fail in life just because of grades, it just makes things harder but i promise to get there someday.

okay to cheer myself up abit, friday = haircut with grace, meetup with wonus (!!) and maybe clubbing with the girls. i can wait!

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow; dont walk behind me , I may not lead; walk beside me and just be my friend - Albert Camus

where did you go

2006-11-15T08:07:00.000-08:00

okay as my msn seems to be down and the boyfriend is already asleep, im absoutely bored out of my mind and so i shall blog.

this isnt good. i only havent been studying for the past... eight hours and i feel this sense of restlessness and the need to start jumping around or running down the street naked and screaming already. after a levels i bet we ll all be complaining about how we miss doing math and econs mcq and all. ohwell. i definitely wont miss studying heart of darkness though. not that i would know actually considering i havent opened the book yet. hur.

okay i really suck at this blogging thing. i dont know its because of my command of english or whatever, but i cant seem to be able to blog normally about everyday things. was just reading er, well, more random blogs just now, and im impressed at how everyone seems to be able to write eloquently. except for me of course. to me my language looks oh-too-simple, my sentences too abrupt and jerky, and my content, of course, pointless.

but im bored anyway. so we shall continue blogging. oh i know. time for PICTURES.

what happened to us my dears? im missing us three more than you know. im sorry for the ways things have turned out, and i promise to try to trust and forget, and put more effort into making things okay again.

all blogged out and still bored. good night.

2006-11-14T18:00:00.000-08:00

in the attempt to keep this new blog alive and remotely interesting, i have decided to blog about something that i actually truly care about: GOING OVERSEAS. i can already hear some of you groaning: oh no here we go again.. haha

i just saw some pictures on some random 16 year old girls blog about hows she studying in new zealand now, and i must say im dying of jealousy. the pictures look gorgeous and it seems like shes having the time of her life. i really hope that i would be able to satisfy my insatiable appetite for moving away because well, the best option seems to be to just stay in singapore; no money problems, family problems, boyfriend problems to face lest i should move. if i do go, ill be fighting alone against everything and everyone, for a reason that i am not guaranteed would bring me happiness. so maybe i should just be a coward and passive singaporean and submit to my fate.

and thats the end of my confessions to a not-so-private blog. goodbye all!

random narcissitic photo-of-the-day

I'll be waiting up until you get home
cuz i can't sleep without you baby

here is gone

2006-11-10T04:47:00.000-08:00

You and I
You and I got somethin' but it's all and then it's nothin' to me
Yeah
And I got my defenses when it comes to your intentions for me
Yeah
And we wake up in the breakdown of the things we never thought we could be
Yeah
I'm not the one who broke you, I'm not the one you should fear
We got to move you, darlin'
I thought I lost you somewhere but you were never really
Ever there at all

And I want to get free, talk to me
I can feel you fallin' and
I wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone

I am no solution to the sound of this pollution in me
Yeah
And I was not the answer so forget you ever thought it was me
Yeah
I'm not the one who broke you, I'm not the one you should fear
We got to move you, darlin'
I thought I lost you somewhere but you were never really
Ever there at all

And I want to get free, talk to me
I can feel you fallin' and
I wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone

2006-11-09T04:23:00.000-08:00

test.